


The Ultimate™ Group Chat

by Anniss



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Kirby (Video Games), Metroid Series, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Smash Brothers, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, Xenoblade Chronicles, どうぶつの森 | Animal Crossing Series
Genre: Everyone will be added eventually, Gen, chatfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-08-21 21:44:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16584758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anniss/pseuds/Anniss
Summary: [02.11] Princess: Oh my god guys, I just had an idea!![02.11] Princess: Yanno, now that we're all gathered and all........[02.12] Yong Lonk: i already dont like where this is going[02.14] toony: nono, go ahead I am horrified in the best of ways [eye emoji][02.15] Shiek this out: I predict it will be a suggestion to make a groupchat with absolutely everyone who have joined the roster[02.16] Princess: I love you but I also want to remind you that I every time you use your freaky prediction powers I have to erase my entire message becoz youre right >:/[02.16] Princess: Still! Great idea, yeah?[02.16] Yong Lonk: I mean this as politely as possible, your highness: Absolutely not. Blocked.[02.17] Gnorf: You will either create hell on earth, the worst thing to have been deigned upon the mortal plane, or you will create something beautiful you still cannot lay your eyes upon, lest they be burnt out, like the sun. Td;lr that sounds like a messZelda has the genius idea to make a groupchat with the entire Smash Ultimate cast! It goes as well as you'd expect.





	1. Dawn of the first day

**[My Link, My Link (My Link) and me]**

 

[02.11] **Princess:** Oh my god guys, I just had an idea!!

[02.11] **Princess:** Yanno, now that we're all gathered and all........

[02.12] **Yong Lonk:** i already dont like where this is going

[02.14] **toony:** nono, go ahead I am horrified in the best of ways [eye emoji]

[02.15] **Shiek this out:** I predict it will be a suggestion to make a groupchat with absolutely everyone who have joined the roster

[02.16] **Princess:** I love you but I also want to remind you that I every time you use your freaky prediction powers I have to erase my entire message becoz youre right >:/

[02.16] **Princess:** Still! Great idea, yeah?

[02.16] **Yong Lonk:** I mean this as politely as possible, your highness: Absolutely not. Blocked.

[02.17] **Gnorf:** You will either create hell on earth, the worst thing to have been deigned upon the mortal plane, or you will create something beautiful you still cannot lay your eyes upon, lest they be burnt out, like the sun. Td;lr that sounds like a mess

[02.17] **Gnorf:** Also why are all of you awake go to sleep.

[02.17] **Sheik this out:** Time is an illusion

[02.18] **toony:** lmao it sounds like fun but I also dont need to be shanked in the common kitchen because wolf or someone decided that that one meme of mine was the last straw

[02.18] **Sheik this out:** To be fair to Zelda we do have you here Ganondorf, in close proximity to two whole Links, and somehow that works out

[02.18] **Gnorf:** Fair point.

[02.19] **Yong Lonk:** 2??

[02.19] **Sheik this out:** You and Toon are approximately half a Link each. You make one added together.

[02.19] **toony:** Binch fight me

[02.20] **Princess:** Awe as long as ur on my side Shiek <33

[02.20] **Shiek this out:** <3

[02.20] **Princess:** I suppose I'll wait until tomorrow for Link's opinion too!

[02.21] **toony:** how does the biggest mess here still somehow manage a egular sleep schedule?

[02.21] **Gnorf:** He makes an attempt.

[02.21] **toony:** oof. touché

 

\---

 

[08.12] **Courage the cowardly Hylian:** I approve :)

[08.39] **Princess:** Tysm <3<3<3 With you and Shiek behind me I think I'm gonna do it >:)

[12.31] **toony:** but hes be behind u no matter what. if u asked to like straight up murder him hed lend u his sword

[12.31] **Shiek this out:** So would you

[12.32] **toony:** you got me there

 

\---

 

**[princess.zelda, shiek03, princess_peach, +4 more]**

 

[13.12] **Just Peachy:** Oh hello there! What is this for?

[13.12] **Princess:** h

[13.12] **Just Peachy:** Huh?

[13.13] **Shiek this out:** Zelda wanted to make a big group chat with everyone on the roster, but something tells me she got cold feet after inviting just you, Princess Peach

[13.13] **toony:** ah, theres the useless lesbian we all know and love

[13.13] **Just Peachy:** Oh it’s just Peach ^^ What a cute little gang you all are!

[13.14] **Princess:** Im sorry, its just that you’re so nice ;; What if the rest aren’t, you know?

[13.14] **Just Peachy:** I understand! How about I take the reins from here, and we’ll introduce everyone little by little, hm?

[13.14] **Princess:** Yes pls ;;

[13.14] **Just Peachy:** How about my friends to begin with? They’re all very nice!

[13.15] **Princess:** Yes of course!! That sounds great :)

[13.15] **Shiek this out:** Mario and Luigi would probably be the least offensive addition to any group chat, to be fair.

 

_[Just Peachy added thejumpman, luigi83, princess_daisy, kingkoopa, kingkoopajr, spaceprincess, wah-rio, piranha_plant, yoshi90, drjumpman.]_

 

[13.16] **Daisy me rollin:** AY, whats this? :D

[13.16] **Daisy me rollin:** Secret group chat for spillin the tea? [eyes emoji]

[13.17] **toony:** god I wish

[13.17] **Daisy me rollin:** Oh heyo Toon, what you been up to?

[13.17] **toony:** oh you know. dying.

[13.17] **Space Aesthetic:** Mood.

[13.18] **Just Peachy:** Hey guys, I’ve invited you all here, because Princess Zelda had the great idea of making a big group chat for all of us people in the Smash roster! ^^ It would be a bit overwhelming to invite everyone at once, though, so we decided to start out small. How does it sound?

[13.18] **It’s-a me:** That sounds good! :)

[13.18] **Yong Lonk:** im just surprised all of you are even on this messaging service. thought at least the oldest ones would think this was just for the youngins’

[13.19] **Green Mario:** Well it does make it a whole lot easier to keep contact…

[13.19] **Daisy me rollin:** (I bullied them into gettin it)

[13.19] **Green Mario:** Also that…

[13.20] **toony:** lmao nice username

[13.20] **Green Mario:** Daisy gave it to me, and I couldn’t really be bothered to change it…

[13.21] **Preorder Plant:** Sup nerds :^)

[13.21] **toony:** aaayy welcome piranha!

[13.21] **Preorder Plant:** eyy my fave link is here!

[13.21] **toony:** <3

[13.21] **Yong Lonk:** Wow thanks

[13.22] **Courage the cowardly Hylian:** That’s fair

[13.23] **Princess:** Whats the rest up to, since they’re not here?

[13.23] **Just Peachy:** Dr. Mario should still be at work, I think Bowser and his son are having a family picnic, Yoshi doesn’t have his phone on him usually and honestly I don’t think anyone knows what Wario is up to 99% of the time.

[13.25] **WAH:** WAH!

[13.25] **Just Peachy:** Oh no there he is.

[13.25] **WAH:** Just waiting for the right time B) (Also don’t bike and text kids)

[13.26] **Gnorf:** Yes, Bowser and Jr is enjoying their picnic. He just sent me and image of it in another chat.

[13.26] **Princess:** Awe, that’s so sweet :’>

[13.27] **Preorder Plant:** Omg do y’all have a villian chat without me??

[13.27] **Gnorf:** No, it’s not a villians chat, and the prerequisites to join would be having an interest in reading actual books and being able to use punctuation at all.

[13.27] **Preorder Plant:** Guess im out lmao

[13.28] **Shiek this out:** You’re in an evil book club then?

[13.28] **Gnorf:** It’s not a book club.

[13.28] **toony:** omg dorf runs a secret book club yall!

[13.29] **It’s-a me:** Sounds like a good pastime!

[13.29] **Green Mario:** Having someone to recommend you good books would be pretty neat…

[13.30] **Just Peachy:** It’s always a good idea to have a good book on-hand!

[13.30] **toony:** im trying to make fun of him why yall gotta be so wholesome gdi

[13.31] **WAH:** This is what they always do >:/ It’s always difficult trying to roast anyone in our chat. Except maybe Rosalina and Daisy.

[13.31] **Space Aesthetic:** I like it lmao

[13.32] **Daisy me rollin:** Its just how we express friendship

[13.32] **Preorder Plant:** hey!! Im in on it too!!

[13.32] **WAH:** Sure, you roast us, but last time I grilled you, you ate my bicycle helmet in revenge.

[13.33] **Yong Lonk:** ah other people’s drama. let me pull out my popcorn.

[13.33] **Preorder Plant:** That wasnt me! How many times do I gotta say it!?

[13.34] **WAH:** Maybe until I forget seeing a piece of my helmet stuck between your teeth.

[13.34] **Princess:** That’s pretty damning evidence!

[13.34] **Flutter Jump:** Why is the first thing I see coming back Piranha Plant stomping

about angrily??

[13.35] **Daisy me rollin:** Oh you know… The Helmet Accident™

[13.35] **Flutter Jump:** Oh yeah, that’d do it.

[13.36] **Princess:** Welcome Yoshi! I thought I’d make a groupchat or all of us in Smash! :>

[13.36] **Flutter Jump:** I can’t help but notice we’re missing a few?

[13.37] **Just Peachy:** It’s more of a gradual introduction of everyone! ^^

[13.37] **Flutter Jump:** That makes a lot of sense, actually!

[13.38] **Flutter Jump:** Something tells me that everyone at once might blow up a little…

[13.38] **Yong Lonk:** understatement of the year here

[13.38] **Flutter Jump:** Don’t sass me, young Hylian.

[13.39] **Yong Lonk:** lmao

 

\---

 

[14.18] **Junior:** O shit!

[14.19] **toony:** waddup

[14.19] **Junior:** just came back from family bonding

[14.19] **Junior:** also yeah it’s basically a book club tbh

[14.20] **Junior:** ive read some of it over dad’s shoulder

[14.20] **Shiek this out:** I knew it

[14.21] **Gnorf:** Sigh

[14.21] **Bowsette:** To be fair it functions a lot like one.

[14.22] **toony:** omg nice username bowser(?)

[14.22] **Bowsette:** Thank you, my son won’t let me change it.

[14.23] **Junior:** >B)

[14.23] **Daisy me rollin:** Bowser is the big tiddy goth gf we all wish we had

[14.23] **Bowsette:** Hah.

[14.24] **Just Peachy:** Reminder that there are children here!

[14.24] **Junior:** To be fair I was the one to give him the nick.

[14.25] **Just Peachy:** You have a point there :/ But still!

[14.25] **Daisy me rollin:** Lmao sorry sis, I’ll try to keep it kiddo safe!

[14.26] **Just Peachy:** Thank you <3

[14.26] **Daisy me rollin:** <3

 

\---

 

[15.02] **Doc:** Nice chat, but shouldn’t it perhaps have a name?

[15.03] **Princess:** Oh, you have a point there!! 2 sec…..

[15.03] **Just Peachy:** Hello Mario, how did work treat you today? ^^

[15.04] **Doc:** No more stressful than usual :)

[15.04] **Just Peachy:** Good good ^^

[15.05] **toony:** isnt it kinda weird that theres two marios?

[15.05] **Courage the cowardly Hylian:** …

[15.06] **Yong Lonk:** i hate to break it to you…..

[15.06] **toony:** in my defense Ive never said i was smart ok

 

_[Princess changed the chat name to “The Ultimate Group Chat”]_

 

[15.07] **Daisy me rollin:** O, you’re missing one important detail!

[15.07] **Princess:** Oh no, did I misspell something??

[15.07] **Daisy me rollin:** Nah dont worry!!

 

_[Daisy me rolling changed the chat name to “The Ultimate™ Group Chat”]_

 

[15.08] **toony:** its perfect

[15.08] **Princess:** Any objections??

[15.09] **Daisy me rollin:** How could anyone object to it???

[15.09] **Just Peachy:** Its very fitting ^^

[15.09] **It’s-a me:** It’s good!

[15.10] **Gnorf:** Concidering what’s it’s going to become, I’m not going to object.

[15.10] **Preorder Plant:** to not blow up everyone’s phones with everyone saying the same thing over and over, anyone have any actual objections? (i dont)

[15.16] **Space Aesthetic:** seems it’s good to go princess

[15.16] **Princess:** Thanks guys! <3

[15.17] **Yong Lonk:** ok, now we just gotta add the rest.

[15.17] **toony:** Hylia help us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it was easy enough to understand who's who! If anyone confuses you, feel free to say so! I tried to keep it relatively clear, but I could make a list at the beginning if it's needed.
> 
> Who would you like to see added first?


	2. Launch Date!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [16.50] Earthbound: Reach into your local chat and you might find a friend and boy  
> [16.51] Lucc ass: And also me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, have a chapter on launch date before I open up my own copy and dissapear for the next five weeks!

**[The Ultimate™ Group Chat]**

 

[16.42] **toony:** ZELDQ!

[16.43] **Princess:**!? What

[16.43] **toony:** we gotta add…

[16.43] **toony:** my lads…….

[16.44] **Princess:**??? Who are these lads

[16.44] **toony:** the absolute units….

[16.44] **Yong Lonk:** you should just say Lucas and Ness

[16.45] **Daisy me rollin:** Ah yes the lads

[16.46] **Princess:** Oh yeah!! Yeah gimmie a min!!

[16.46] **Junior:** Ah finally we’re evening out the odds against all these oldies

[16.47] **Bowsette:** Hey Ganondorf, should we ask Zelda to add over the rest of the book club?

[16.47] **Junior:** Nooooooooo!!

[16.47] **Gnorf:** It’s still not a book club but yes perhaps.

[16.48] **Junior:** AaaAAAaAaA

[16.48] **Bowsette:** Don’t worry, we won’t invite them.

[16.48] **Bowsette:** Yet.

[16.48] **Junior:** >:P

[16.49] **Bowsette:** >:)

 

_[Princess added mother2, mother3.]_

 

[16.50] **toony:** my boys!!

[16.50] **Earthbound:** Reach into your local chat and you might find a friend and boy

[16.51] **Lucc ass:** And also me

[16.51] **Earthbound:** Nice groupchat yall

[16.52] **Just Peachy:** Hello you two, and welcome! <3

[16.52] **Junior:** Welcome to the show lads

[16.52] **Luc ass:** Bold of you to assume I’m not already the show

[16.52] **Shiek this out:** I like this one can we keep him?

[16.53] **Earthbound:** Its a package deal

[16.53] **Shiek this out:** I’ll take it.

 

**[While you were being heterosexual I studied the blade]**

 

[17.36] **Courage the cowardly Hylian:** Guys

[17.36] **Walmarth:** Sup?

[17.36] **Roys r us:** Did Toon Link do something extraordinarily stupid again?

[17.37] **Ikea:** When isn’t he?

[17.37] **Roys r us:** Ha gotim

[17.37] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Yes, but that’s not what this is about

[17.38] **Meta:** Let him speak his mind, you guys

[17.38] **Monadon’t:** Don’t worry Link everyone will like it ^^

[17.39] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Thanks Shulk. I was just going to mention that Zelda made a groupchat for everyone on the roster, and wondered if I should ask her to put you guys in now.

[17.39] **Roys r us:** There’s an order to adding people??

[17.40] **Isabelle:** I wouldn’t want to be in a group chat where they added everyone at once tbh

[17.40] **Roys r us:** O yeah thats fair

[17.40] **Roys r us:** Also Cloud your username still confuses me every time I see it, even if I know isabelle isn’t a swordfighter,,,

[17.41] **Isabelle:** Isabelle is my fursona and I won’t accept your critisism.

[17.41] **Isabelle:** Meet me on final destination, no items and in our Fox fursuits.

[17.41] **Roys r us:** Ok boys brb gonna go get my ass kicked dont wait up for me

[17.42] **Ikea:** I put my money on Cloud.

[17.42] **Monadon’t:** I don’t foresee anyone betting against you!

[17.42] **Roys r us:** Wow thanks guys

[17.43] **Meta:** Shulk I thought your powers usually only activated in combat situations?

[17.43] **Monadon’t:** Well, I don’t need my powers for that prediction.

[17.43] **Roys r us:** And here I thought u were so pure.....

[17.44] **Walmarth:** Go look for ur wig now

[17.44] **Ikea:** Good one Shulk.

[17.44] **Monadon't:** -/////-

[17.45] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** …

[17.45] **Meta:** Perhaps inviting disaster grandpa and his seven gay dwarves wasn't your best idea actually.

[17.45] **Walmarth:** If we weren't going for themed nicknames, I'd change mine to disaster grandpa rn

[17.46] **Meta:** I know.

 

**[princess.zelda, botw.boy]**

 

[17.49] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** z

[17.50] **Princess:** Oh look he's having a nap :P

[17.50] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** ………

[17.51] **Princess:** Ok I know that joke isnt funny, but I cant help myself

[17.51] **Princess:** What's up?

[17.51] **Princess:** Anyone's ass I gotta kick?

[17.52] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Isn't it supposed to be my job to ask you that?

[17.52] **Princess:** How many times I gotta tell you

[17.52] **Princess** : I think all your friends are willing to destroy anyone who hurt you at any time (including me)

[17.53] **Princess:** I mean you even have a group full of gays with swords like hello??

[17.53] **Princess:** We all love our elf on the shelf <3

[17.53] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** <3

[17.54] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Speaking of them…

[17.54] **Princess:** Want me to add them? 8>

[17.55] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** ye

[17.55] **Princess:** Consider it done ;)

[17.56] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** ty <3

[17.56] **Princess:** <3<3<3

 

**[The Ultimate™ Group Chat]**

 

[17.57] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Brace yourselves

[17.57] **Daisy me rollin:** owo whats this?

 

_[Princess added path.of.gaydiance, monadude10, meta_knight, ff.vii, fire_emblem, roysyourboy.]_

 

[17.58] **Walmarth:** Sup sluts?

[17.59] **Junior:** Oh no think of the children

[17.59] **Walmarth:** Jesus christ, is that a fucking gremlin?

[17.59] **Junior:** <3

[18.00] **Ikea:** Im not pulling you out of the dumpster Bowser slam dunks you in this time.

[18.00] **Walmarth:** I guess you'll be too busy mopping the remains of Roy off the stage then

[18.00] **Ikea:** Correct.

[18.01] **It's-a me:** Welcome! :)

[18.01] **Walmarth:** Heya Mario (i assume) how's it going?

[18.01] **It's-a me:** Im doing good, how about you?

[18.02] **Princess:** Heyp guys, I guess Link has probably explained all of this before I added you? ^^

[18.02] **Meta:** I think we've got the gist of it, yes.

[18.02] **Princess:** Great! If youre confused abt anything, just ask me (or Peach)

[18.03] **Just Peachy:** That would be me ^^

[18.03] **Monadon't:** x_x there's a lot of people here…

[18.04] **toony:** dont worry we'll do most of the talking

[18.04] **toony:** wheter you like it or not

[18.05] **Monadon’t:** Thanks,,,,,,

[18.05] **Green Mario:** Why are you going to mop Roy off the stage later, anyway....?

[18.05] **Meta:** He questioned Cloud’s fursona, and now he must pay the price.

[18.06] **Green Mario:** Reminds me of when Ridley challenged Snake to a fight to prove he was worthy after everyone joked about Ridley being Snake’s fursona and neither of them realizing people were joking…

[18.06] **toony:** god I wish I was there to watch

[18.07] **Preorder Plant:** OUTTA MY WAY NERDS IM WATCHING THIS RN

[18.07] **Yong Lonk:** save me a seat

[18.07] **Ikea:** They’re on Final Destination.

[18.07] **Preorder Plant:** THANKS

[18.08] **Yong Lonk:** of course they are

[18.08] **Junior:** Yo imma tag along

[18.08] **Bowsette:** As long as you’ve finished your homework.

[18.09] **Junior:** Ofc!!

[18.09] **Bowsette:** Then have fun with your senseless violence, son.

[18.10] **toony:** dad goals

[18.10] **Bowsette:** Oh. Thank you!

 

\---

 

[18.34] **Sheik this out:** So how did it go?

[18.34] **Isabelle:** I have successfully defended Isabelle’s honour, and all is now well in the universe

[18.35] **Shiek this out:** Sounds good my guy

[18.35] **Shiek this out:** And Roy?

[18.36] **Ikea:** Has seen better days.

[18.36] **Space Aesthetic:** F

[18.36] **toony:** F

[18.37] **Princess:** F

[18.37] **Junior:** F

[18.37] **Yong Lonk:** F

[18.37] **Preorder Plant:** F

[18.37] **Earthbound:** F

[18.38] **Luc Ass:** F

[18.38] **Gnorf:** I’m too old for this.

[18.39] **WAH:** Just wait until Everyone Is Here™

[18.40] **Daisy me rollin:** AH IM TOo late for the F party but Wario you reminded me!!!

[18.40] **Daisy me rollin:** ITS LAUNCHDAY!!

[18.41] **Princess:** Oh you’re right!!

[18.41] **Princess:** Happy launch day everyone!!

[18.42] **It’s-a me:** Here’s to another 19 years!

[18.42] **Just Peachy:** Oh if I had remembered I would have made pastries for everyone!

[18.43] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** I mean,,, you could still make them,,,

[18.43] **Shiek this out:** The moment he heard someone mention food lmao.

[18.43] **Earthbound:** Cheers guys!!

[18.44] **Daisy me rollin:** Wait,,,,, It’s launchday but,,,,

[18.45] **Princess:** Not everyone is here :<

[18.45] **Daisy me rollin:** I have an idea……..

[18.46] **toony:** hoe dont do it

[18.46] **Princess:** No wait!!!!

[18.47] **Just Peachy:** Daisy…

[18.47] **Meta:** Shulk did you foresee this?

[18.48] **Monadon’t:** Maybe

[18.48] **Yong Lonk:** why didnt u warm us

[18.49] **Monadon’t:** hhhhhhh anxiety

[18.49] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** rt

[18.50] **Luc ass:** It was nice knowing yall

[18.51] **Gnorf:** Is she really adding everyone?

 

_[Daisy me rollin added dk81, metroid, evil.metroid, poyo, fox_mccloud, pika#025, show.me.your.moves, jigglypuff#039, ice.climber.popo, ice.climber.nana, pichu#172, falco_lombardi, future_princess_420, mew2#150, captain.shepherd, game.n.watch, kid.icarus86, xx_pitsux_xx, peeled.metroid, mgs_snake, gotta.catch.em.all, diddy94, gotta_go_fast, his.royal.nemesis, pikmin_captain, lucario#448, r.o.b., wolf_o’donnell, townmayor, heavy-metal, yoga.or.die, punch-out!!, frog#658, mii.myself.and.ii, lady_goddess, puck-man80, awakening_avatar, laughingdog, street_fighter, ken.masters, dragon-of-fates, witch.please, fashion_squid15, ridley86, simon.castlevania.belmont, bite_me_dracula, k.rool, isabelle12, musclecat#727.]_

  
[18.52] **toony:** oh mah god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry updating took me so long! ;v; School got me a lot busier than I thought I would be! Which might or might not have influenced my choice to make Daisy add /everyone/. It'll be a fun chaos next chapter, though!  
> Thank you so much for the nice comments last chapter! I'm always up for discussions and headcanons, and even critisism if I horribly mangled someone's fave lmao


	3. Happy New Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [20.19] toony: happy new fears btw  
> [20.19] Phazone: We don’t know what’s beyond the visible universe, but whatever it is keeps pulling chunks of galaxies into it.  
> [20.20] toony: thanks

**[The Ultimate™ Group Chat]**

 

[18.54]  **Daisy me rollin:** uwu

[18.54]  **Princess:** Hi yes ill take one large perish thanks

[18.55]  **Daisy me rollin:** oh fuck peach dm’d me that she’s coming over if I don’t survive tell my future children I love kirby

[18.55]  **toony:** i will honour this task with my life

[18.56]  **Babey:** Poyo? Σ(･口･)

[18.56]  **Gnorf:** There are several things wrong with what you said, but something tells me you know exactly what you did.

[18.57]  **Daisy me rollin:** ;)

[18.58]  **Booty hunter:** I should escape this hellhole while I still can, but also now I have another place to send memes

[18.58]  **Pterodactyl:** Implying you wont be the one to make this a hellhole

[18.59]  **Booty hunter:** Fight me

[19.00]  **Marth?:** Yes hello, I am Lucina nice to be here.

[19.01]  **Walmarth:** No need to act straight, this is a disaster lesbian safe-zone

[19.01]  **Marth?:** oh thank god

[19.02]  **Shiek this out:** Anything else would be hypocritical, concidering who made this chat.

[19.02]  **Princess:** dhjsdhakdj don’t call me out like this

[19.02]  **Booty hunter:** lmao

[19.03]  **Phazone:** Don't laugh, you're a disaster lesbian too.

[19.03]  **Booty hunter:** WOW can you two not come for my throat for once??

[19.03]  **Phazone:** No.

[19.03]  **Pterodactyl:** No

[19.04]  **Booty hunter:** smh I shoulda known inviting my villains would come back to bite me in the ass

[19.05]  **Free Range Samus:** Actually it wasn’t you who invited them

[19.05]  **Booty hunter:** a mere technicallity

[19.05]  **Free Range Samus:** Im not sure why I bother

[19.06]  **Olimar:** No I don’t think we got quite everyone here

[19.06]  **toony:** oh my god we forgot alph

[19.07]  **toony:** daisy youve abandoned our boy

[19.07]  **Pterodactyl:** She was busy being murdered by Peach, was it not?

[19.07]  **toony:** oh yeah

[19.08]  **toony:** 2 sec lemme figure out how this works…..

 

_ [toony added pikmin.boi.] _

 

[19.09]  **toony:** now all is well in this world

[19.10]  **Olimar:** Heyo Alph

[19.10]  **Alph:** Oh uh heyy guys

[19.11]  **Walmarth:** your usernames are very basic smh

[19.11]  **Alph:** Sorry ;;

[19.11]  **Princess:** Don’t be! We’ll think of something fun soon enough! ^^

[19.12]  **Shiek this out:** Which means we’ll wait until you misspell something in a funny way or make a fool out yourself here, and then we’ll memorialize it as your nickname.

[19.12]  **Olimar:** I’d rather not

[19.12]  **Shiek this out:** Lmao fair.

[19.13]  **Mayor pain in the a:** o shit bois here we all are

[19.13]  **Isabelle:** Yes hello everyone, nice to meet you all! nwn

[19.14]  **Isabelle:** Well one of us has to change

[19.14]  **Meta:** I’m willing to bet my sword you were lurking, waiting for that

[19.14]  **Isabelle:** Huh!? 0.0 Oh well, uh, give me a second,,,

[19.15]  **Mayor pain in the a:** Cloud don’t bully her smh

 

_ [Isabelle changed their name to Bells.] _

 

[19.15]  **Mayor pain in the a:** Why that dshajdhaks

[19.16]  **Bells:** uwu

[19.16]  **Isabelle:** None of you can prove anything in a court of law

[19.16]  **Babey:** Poyo? ( ・◇・)？

[19.16]  **Yong Lonk:** yeah I agree with Kirby, you gotta tell us the backstory behind you name Isabelle 

[19.17]  **Mayor pain in the a:** aaaaaaaaa

[19.17]  **Bells:** Well I couldn’t say no to Kirby could I? owo

[19.17]  **Babey:** （˶′◡‵˶）

[19.18]  **Bells:** Well it started one day when Villager brought me some flowers they had grown

[19.18]  **Princess:** Awe, how nice of them!!

[19.18]  **Bells:** And then we started catching up, and I asked if my new hairdoo looked nice, I had just been at Shampoodle’s you see

[19.19]  **Bells:** Villager would you like to tell them what you said yourself?

[19.19]  **Mayor pain in the a:** ….. i said you look like a really cute bag of bells

[19.19]  **Babey:** ( ´･ω･)

[19.20]  **Free Range Samus:** That certainly is an interesting way to compliment a girl!

[19.20]  **Mayor pain in the a:** i regret my own creation

[19.20]  **Bells:** Awe, don’t be! I thought it was really cute ówò

[19.21]  **Isabelle:** This world doesn’t deserve Isabelle

[19.21]  **Ikea:** Don’t be a narcissist.

[19.21]  **Isabelle:** Fight me

[19.21]  **Bells:** Hey, save they fighting for actual matches!

[19.22]  **Isabelle:** … You get to live another day.

[19.22]  **Ikea:** How nice of you.

[19.23]  **Popolice:** Hello! :)

[19.23]  **Ba Nana:** How are you all doing! Thanks for inviting us.

[19.24]  **Princess:** Popo and Nana! Welcome! :D

[19.24]  **Mayor pain in the a:** i feel like launching myself into the void

[19.25]  **Popolice:** Well. Good luck with that!

[19.25]  **Edgy Fox:** I could help you with that

[19.25]  **Gnorf:** No Wolf you are not launching children anywhere.

[19.25]  **Edgy Fox:** Killjoy

[19.26]  **Ba Nana:** Hello Ganondorf! Do you have that book I leant you? :9

[19.26]  **Gnorf:** Yes of course, I can bring it over tomorrow if you’d like.

[19.26]  **Ba Nana:** That would be nice! I’ll make something nice for when you come over. Do you like cinnamon buns?

[19.27]  **Gnorf:** Ah, yes, but you don’t need to go through all that effort.

[19.27]  **Ba Nana:** Nonsense, it’s nothing!

[19.28]  **Popolice:** You won’t be able to stop her, so you might as well make sure you’re hungry when you come over tomorrow.

[19.28]  **Gnorf:** … All right.

[19.28]  **toony:** nana is part of the secret villian book club!

[19.29]  **Ba Nana:** Is that what it’s called now?

[19.29]  **Gnorf:** I told you not to call… You know what I give up.

[19.30]  **Shiek this out:** If you don’t want the cinnamon buns, I’d love some in your place.

[19.30]  **Ba Nana:** You’re always welcome to have some too, Shiek. I can bring some to your next match.

[19.30]  **Shiek this out:** Yes please.

 

\---

 

[19.43]  **Junior:** @Bowsette, dad can Wolf launch me into the void?

[19.44]  **Bowsette:** No.

[19.44]  **Junior:** Killjoy

[19.45]  **Edgy Fox:** I like this one

 

\---

 

[20.19]  **toony:** happy new fears btw

[20.19]  **Phazone:** We don’t know what’s beyond the visible universe, but whatever it is keeps pulling chunks of galaxies into it.

[20.20]  **toony:** thanks 

[20.21]  **xxAngelofDarkness:** Everything you do is completely insignificant in the grand scope of the universe. Even a speck of dust buried on pluto will probably still outlast you.

[20.21]  **Earthbound:** Every picture you pose in could be the picture used on your obituary

[20.22]  **Baeonetta:** Kids, could you lighten up a little?

[20.22]  **Baeonetta:** It’s awfully drab in here

[20.22]  **Phazone:** hh hi

[20.23]  **Earthbound:** Yes mom

[20.23]  **xxAngelofDarkness:** I guess.

[20.24]  **Goddess:** Huh, you’re agreeable today

[20.24]  **xxAngelofDarkness:** Try me bitch

[20.25]  **Goddess:** :^)

[20.25]  **Not Icarus:** Please, let’s not fight!

[20.26]  **Luc Ass:** Pittttttttttt

[20.26]  **Not Icarus:** Hello Lucas! :>

[20.27]  **Yong Lonk:** a breath of fresh and wholesome air in this hole of edgy youngsters

[20.27]  **toony:** youre in it

[20.28]  **Yong Lonk:** but god i wish i weren’t

[20.28]  **Not Icarus:** Hey but at least we’re all in this together!

[20.29]  **Luc Ass:** I’m concidering revoking your wholesome title just based on that HMS reference

[20.29]  **Earthbound:** HMS references are allowed

[20.30]  **xxAngelofDarkness:** You can all look forward to more bad references and puns now that Pit’s here, just a warning.

[20.31]  **Not Icarus:** Yeah but the fourth wall breaks will be a little more difficult, when everyone’s already here! :P

[20.31]  **Not Icarus:** But I’m sure whoever placed us all here will try their best anyways!

[20.32]  **toony:** i must admit that sounds vaguely omnious

[20.32]  **Baeonetta:** I’d like to mention I’m not your mom.

[20.33]  **Earthbound:** Aw ):

[20.33]  **Baeonetta:** But I might be inclined to be your rich, single aunt every now and then.

[20.33]  **Earthbound:** :)

[20.34]  **Junior:** Where do I sign up?

[20.34]  **Baeonetta:** I’ll whip up some contracts

[20.35]  **Bowsette:** If you whip up any sort of demonic contract, I think I might have to revoke your chances at being an aunt before you’ve even started. 

[20.35]  **Baeonetta:** Oh you’re no fun 

[20.36]  **Bowsette:** So it may be.

[20.36]  **Baeonetta:** Oh well, seems like I’ll have to be a single, rich aunt not bound by contracts.

[20.37]  **Not Icarus:** That will probably still be really nice! :)

[20.37]  **Not Icarus:** Actually I don’t think Lady Palutena would want me to sign any demon-related legal documents

[20.38]  **Goddess:** It would be preferable that you didn’t, yes!

[20.38]  **Solid Snake:** Ah, so this is why my phone was blowing up.

[20.38]  **Princess:** Hiya David! :D

[20.39]  **Solid Snake:** Hey kid.

[20.39]  **Not Icarus:** Wait, you real name is David!?

[20.39]  **Solid Snake:** Yes, yes it is…

[20.40]  **Not Icarus:** Oh! Cool! Want me to call you Snake or David?

[20.40]  **Solid Snake:** Whatever floats your boat, kid.

[20.41]  **Preorder Plant:** SNAKE!? SNAAAAAAKE!!

[20.41]  **Solid Snake:** Haha.

[20.42]  **xxAngelofDarkness:** Why is your name that, it’s not even accurate

[20.42]  **Preorder Plant:** “Early Buyer Reward Plant” doesn’t sound as good, angel boy

[20.42]  **xxAngelofDarkness:** Bite me

[20.43]  **Preorder Plant:** I will. Just you wait until I’m released.

[20.43]  **toony:** that might not have been your best rebuttal pittoo

[20.44]  **xxAngelofDarkness:** I’m leaving

 

_ [xxAngelofDarkness left the chat.] _

 

_ [toony added  _ _ xx_pitsux_xx.] _

 

[20.46]  **toony:** no you wont

[20.46]  **xxAngelofDarkness:** Let me be extra in peace

[20.46]  **toony:** mood but also no

[20.47]  **Sheik this out:** You will have to be extra together with the rest of us from now on.

[20.48]  **xxAngelofDarkness:** This whole chat is cursed.

[20.48]  **Preorder Plant:** Yeah. Duh.

[20.49]  **Luc Ass:** Must have been all the new villians they added this time

[20.50]  **Pterodactyl:** Don’t peg your own sins on me

[20.51]  **Phazone:** Funny, concidering how you were also added back in as a non-dlc fighter.

[20.51]  **Luc Ass:** Both valid arguments, but I can’t read

[20.52]  **In a while:** DID YA SAY VILLIANS?

[20.52]  **Gnorf:** Hello K. Rool.

[20.53]  **In a while:** NICE TO SEE ALL OF YOU, SORRY GOTTA GO!

[20.53]  **Bells:** Oh, what is he so busy with? 

[20.53]  **It’s-a me:** Probably stealing bananas!

[20.54]  **Ba Nana:** Oh no

[20.54]  **It’s-a me:** Which would explain Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong’s absence so far.

[20.55]  **Princess:** Im sure they’ll drop in sooner or later! ^^

[20.55]  **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Hey Zelda, food’s ready

[20.56]  **Princess:** Oh! Omw!!

[20.56]  **Shiek this out:** I’m tagging along.

[20.57]  **Shiek this out:** And probably everyone else.

[20.57]  **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** … That’s fair.

 

\---

 

[21.11]  **Walmarth:** I mean who doesn’t want bananas every now and then? 

[21.12]  **Marth?:** Stop right there

[21.12]  **Walmarth:** ;*

[21.13]  **Google Chrom:** Now now Lucina, be nice to your kinda-sorta grandpa

[21.13]  **Walmarth:** Yeah Lucina smh (Good timing btw)

[21.14]  **Marth?:** ,,,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments on the last chapter too! Tho I'm bad at replying (I just sometimes don't know what to say) I read every comment over and over! It keeps me motivated ;v;
> 
> Again, any characters you wanna see more of? Any fun character trivia you wanna share? Any character you feel I mangled horribly? Please share with me! ^^


	4. Food coma and Blackmail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [08.20] In a while: GIVE WHOEVER WAS SUPPOSED TO SHOW UP A GOOD WHACK ON THE NOGGIN ON MY BEHALF  
> [08.20] F-Zero to hero: That would be Kirby and Shulk  
> [08.21] In a while: ACTUALLY DON'T HIT KIRBY. I TAKE MY STATEMENT BACK  
> [08.21] D3: Im watching u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late!! I went to a school trip to Berlin ^^;;  
> I hope this is all right! Happy Valentines! <3

**[The Ultimate™ Group Chat]**

 

[08.12] **In a while:** HEY WHERE IS EVERYONE, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FIGHTING!?

[08.13] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Sorry about that, they're probably here at my place, passed out in food coma.

[08.14] **In a while:** UNDERSTANDABLE HAVE A DAY

[08.15] **Fit to fight:** If you need more fighters I could always substitute someone!

[08.15] **In a while:** THAT WOULD BE NICE THANK YOU! WII FIT TRAINER, RIGHT?

[08.16] **Fit to fight:** That would be me, yes!

[08.16] **Fit to fight:** I was just out having my morning jog, I'll be right over!

[08.17] **In a while:** WE STILL NEED ONE MORE, CAP HERE SAYS IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FOUR PLAYER MATCH

[08.17] **F-Zero to hero:** Yep!

[08.17] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Hm, I think I need to clean, but if no one else is awake…

[08.18] **You but older:** Don't worry I dont have work today I can come in

[08.18] **F-Zero to hero:** Thank you Mr. Game and Watch!

[08.19] **You but older:** Call me Game, Mr. Watch was my father

[08.19] **F-Zero to hero:** All right!

[08.20] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** … I'll go clean

[08.20] **In a while:** GIVE WHOEVER WAS SUPPOSED TO SHOW UP A GOOD WHACK ON THE NOGGIN ON MY BEHALF

[08.20] **F-Zero to hero:** That would be Kirby and Shulk

[08.21] **In a while:** ACTUALLY DON'T HIT KIRBY. I TAKE MY STATEMENT BACK

[08.21] **D3:** Im watching u

[08.22] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** …

 

\---

 

[09.14] **Monadon't:** I'm so sorry!!!

[09.15] **F-Zero to hero:** Don't worry kid it happens to the best of us!

 

\---

 

**[botw.boy, monadude10]**

 

[09.16] **Monadon’t:** Link why didn’t you wake me!!!

[09.16] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Someone else was available

[09.16] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Would have been rude to wake you then

[09.17] **Monadon’t:** hhh next time you should just listen to K Rool

[09.17] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Hm

[09.17] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** No. I prefer my own methods.

[09.18] **Monadon’t:** ;;;;

[09.18] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Come out of the bathroom, I’ve made breakfast

[09.18] **Monadon’t:** … all right

 

\---

 

**[princess.zelda, botw.boi]**

 

[09.20] **Princess:** hohoho

[09.20] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Stop

[09.21] **Princess:** hOHOHO i see everything

[09.21] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** I should have woken you last

[09.22] **Princess:** But you didn’t >:)

[09.22] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** and now I regret it

[09.23] **Princess:** Don’t worry I wont tell anyone, I’ll just keep the photographic evidence!

[09.23] **Princess:** Shouldn’t have told you that lmao

 

\---

 

**[The Ultimate™ Group Chat]**

 

[09.26] **Ikea:** So, who won?

[09.26] **Fit to fight:** Just woke up?

[09.27] **Ikea:** Yup, difficult not to with Link and Zelda running around and climbing/teleporting all over things.

[09.27] **Fit to fight:** Oh, well good morning!

[09.28] **Ikea:** Thank you.

[09.28] **Fit to fight:** And as for the results of the match, well it got quite close there in the end!

[09.29] **You but older:** No need to be humble Wii Fit, you obliterated us

[09.29] **In a while:** THAT SNEAKY HIT WITH THE FOOTBALL WAS ESPECIALLY GOOD!

[09.29] **Fit to fight:** Thank you, you two! I’d blush if I could!

[09.30] **D3:** hows Kirby doing?

[09.30] **Ikea:** He’s waking up. Slowly. I’m saving him some food.

[09.31] **D3:** Good good, can’t let a young man not get his nutrients

[09.31] **Ikea:** Hm, actually. How much food would he like? I don’t know.

[09.32] **D3:** As much as you have! All of it!

[09.32] **Ikea:** I see.

[09.33] **Monadon’t:** I can see you shuffling all of your own breakfast onto Kirby’s plate. Stop.

[09.34] **Ikea:** Sorry I can’t read.

[09.34] **D3:** You’re the only swordfighter in this house i ever respected

[09.34] **Meta:** Thanks.

[09.35] **Roys r us:** Don't worry, I'll make sure he eats!

[09.35] **Ikea:** Hrmph

[09.36] **Monadon’t:** Ty, glad to see you up and kicking again Roy :)

[09.36] **Roys r us:** To be fair I’ve been good to go for a while, but it was nice to have Ike carry me all the time yesterday in his big arms

[09.37] **Ikea:** Im dragging you by the foot next time.

[09.37] **Roys r us:** Sure you are big guy, now eat your fruit.

[09.38] **Sheik this out:** Ah, thats why everyone was on their phones.

[09.38] **Sheik this out:** Congrats Wii Fit.

[09.39] **Fit to fight:** Thank you! :)

[09.39] **In a while:** THEY(?) ARE AN INTIMIDATING OPPONENT!

[09.39] **In a while:** ACTUALLY I SHOULD PROBABLY ASK WHAT PRONOUNS YOU PREFER.

[09.40] **Fit to fight:** I don’t mind any pronouns! Gender binary is a flimsy human concept I see no need to abide by.

[09.40] **Sheik this out:** Mood

[09.40] **RGB:** It really be like that

[09.41] **Red Robin:** Retweet

[09.41] **Corrinlicious:** Delicious, finally some good fucking takes

[09.42] **Mayor pain in the a:** im kinning that statement, thanks

[09.42] **Fashion Police:** You're right and you should say it

[09.44] **toony:** all right alla yall who just introduced yourselves, isn't it a bit weird to have alt skins who are all like

[09.44] **toony:** completely different characters while

[09.44] **toony:** there’s only like one of you here

[09.45] **Red Robin:** I like to think of it as perhaps some culmination of alternate realities, all in one.

[09.45] **Fashion Police:** So lads which government assigned reality are we picking today

[09.45] **Corrinlicious:** Today we wear pink

[09.46] **F-Zero to Hero:** A solid choice!

[09.46] **Princess:** Or you just tag team with another incarnation of yourself while no one is looking, like Link! (or is it cosplay?)

[09.46] **Ikea:** Have Link stopped chasing you?

[09.47] **Princess:** Yeah, it started raining >:)

[09.47] **Ikea:** Oh yeah.

[09.47] **Fashion Police:** Also while we’re at the alternative reality theories

[09.48] **Fashion Police:** I wanna know in what kinda fucked up reality Snake thought it would ever be okay to wear leopard print.

[09.49] **Solid Snake:** It’s Animal camoflague…

[09.49] **Fashion Police:** Whatever you tell yourself at night to sleep better.

[09.49] **Mayor pain in the a:** dont kick an old man when he’s down like this

[09.50] **Solid Snake:** I understand now why Dark Pit wanted to leave.

[09.50] **Princess:** Hey now, be nice to David, there is a worse fashion sin.

[09.51] **Fashion Police:**?

[09.51] **Princess:** No pink alts

[09.52] **Fashion Police:** You are correct.

[09.52] **Sheik this out:** I’m sorry to be the bringer of bad news, but this still aint looking so hot for David.

[09.53] **Solid Snake:** I see I am comitting a lot of cardinal smash sins.

[09.53] **Yong Lonk:** For once I am the most blessed Link

[09.53] **toony:** wow thats a first

[09.54] **Puff Pass:** I am infinitely powerful

[09.55] **Puff Pass:** Im making hecking poffins and nobody can stop me

[09.55] **RGB:** Sure you don’t need any help with that?

[09.56] **Puff Pass:** I will allow you to lift the poffin pot off the top shelf

[09.56] **RGB:** I am honoured.

[09.57] **#69:** Ya need some flames!!?

[09.57] **Puff Pass:** Maybe…

[09.58] **Bells:** Heya Incineroar! ^w^

[09.58] **#69:** Suh dude!!!

[09.58] **Gnorf:** I have a *slight* dislike for your name.

[09.59] **#69:** Whaaaaaat Im just the 69th fighter and thats all there is!

[09.59] **#69:** uwu!!

[10.00] **Bowsette:** I would complain, but also that would make me a hypocrite.

[10.00] **Princess:** G help mewkajdjsknckawnkl,.,.,wda.

[10.01] **Gnorf:** Well that’s a first.

[10.01] **Ikea:** It stopped raining.

[10.02] **Gnorf:** Ah, I see. Better go save Zelda before I have to buy her another Sheikah Slate.

[10.02] **Gnorf:** Suppose I’ll return in a bit.

[10.02] **You but older:** I gotta ask why nobody that’s actually at Link’s place could have done it instead.

[10.03] **Sheik this out:** It’s more fun to watch the chaos unfold. They get into dumb fights all the time.

[10.03] **Monadon’t:** Link also looks like he’s about to shoot out lightning at any second.

[10.03] **Ryan Reynolds:** A man of culture.

[10.04] **Pichuwu:** A fellow electric type

[10.04] **Monadon’t:** I estimate about… 40 seconds before he blows.

[10.05] **F-Zero to Hero:** Godspeed Ganondorf.

 

\---

 

[10.22] **Daisy me rollin:** Happy Valentines!!! Uhm!!!

[10.22] **Daisy me rollin:** Luigi ur cute!!!

[10.23] **Green Mario:** Aw shucks… <3

[10.23] **Green Mario:** Thanks Pit…

[10.24] **Not Icarus:** I mean I can sorta understand the Icarus mixup

[10.24] **Not Icarus:** But Cupid!?

[10.25] **Luc Ass:** You kinda do look like him tho…

[10.25] **Godess:** Yeah, just look at your old character art!

[10.25] **Luc Ass:** His old what now

[10.26] **Godess:** Don’t think about it!

[10.26] **Luc Ass:** An easy task with -1 braincell

[10.26] **Mew2:** How are you alive

[10.26] **Luc Ass:** Good question

[10.27] **Roys r us:** Happy Valentines Kirby you funky little pink lad!

[10.28] **Babey:** Poyo… (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daisy is still alive!
> 
> As always, I love feedback, fun character trivia, and just plain requests if you wanna see more of a specific character!


	5. Prep Goth Aesthetic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [12.32] Luc Ass: hhhrnghhhgn Colonel  
> [12.32] Earthbound: hrhsnnmdng colonel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've added everyone's nicknames to the end notes if you're confused! I'm going back and fixing that for the previous chapters too. Thanks for the feedback!

**[The Ultimate™ Group Chat]**

 

_[toony changed Solid Snake’s name to Dummy Thicc.]_

 

[12.31] **Dummy Thicc:** Of course.

[12.32] **Luc Ass:** hhhrnghhhgn Colonel

[12.32] **Earthbound:** hrhsnnmdng colonel

[12.33] **Dummy Thicc:** Why am I still here, just to suffer?

[12.33] **Courage the cowardly Hylian:** Oh boo hoo, let me clap you the world’s smallest ass cheeks.

[12.34] **Princess:** Is that a rare Link joke I see?

[12.34] **Yong Lonk:** its over for us, see you in the next incarnation

[12.34] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Im never speaking again

[12.35] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Wait-

[12.35] **Yong Lonk:** truly a silent protagonist.

[12.35] **toony:** the wild joke, almost as beautiful and rare as your cryptid moments

[12.36] **Princess:** His cryptid moments aren’t rare, you just don’t visit outside of business hours enough

[12.36] **toony:** time to visit at all hours of the day now

[12.36] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** ugh

[12.37] **Ryan Reynolds:** You guys are missing another good cryptid @Lucario

[12.37] **Lucario:** I admit to my sins.

[12.37] **toony:** sup pikachu and lucario

[12:37] **toony:** how exactly is lucario a cryptid tho??

[12:38] **RGB:** They tpose on top of my house a lot.

[12:38] **RGB:** On top of any house they deem worthy, really

[12:38] **Lucario:** Correct.

[12:39] **Yong Lonk:** link (wild) owns real estate, just saying

[12:39] **Lucario:** Hm, I’ll look into it.

[12:40] **Courage the Cowardly Hylian:** Snake I take back what I said, wanna leave together?

[12:40] **Dummy Thicc:** Yeah sure, I’ll pick you up with the copter.

[12:41] **Just Peachy:** Its good to see you kids having fun ^^

[12:41] **Earthbound:** We try

[12:41] **Luc Ass:** My backstory won’t stop me

[12:42] **Just Peachy:** I must admit I know woefully little about your backstory, but Im glad you can enjoy your time here.

[12:42] **Earthbound:** Trust us, not knowing is for the better

[12:42] **Luc Ass:** Sad yehaw

[12:43] **Gotta go fast:** Okay so

[12:43] **Gotta go fast:** I just gotta ask

[12:43] **Gotta go fast:** @Pit how are you even here, thought you couldn’t read

[12:44] **Not Icarus:** A mix of text to speech and palutena teaching me!

[12:44] **Goddess:** I tried my best.

 

_[Daisy me rollin changed Not Icarus’s name to Jared, 19.]_

 

[12:44] **Jared, 19:** Okay fair enough

[12:45] **Gotta go fast:** Is it the same with Dark Pit???

[12:45] **xxAngelofDarkness:** no of course not

[12:45] **Goddess:** Of course, how else do you think we’ve managed to make him keep that username?

[12:45] **xxAngelofDarkness:** wait what

[12:46] **Goddess:** :^)

[12:46] **Goddess:** No one tell him

[12:46] **xxAngelofDarkness:** Where do I change my username

[12:47] **Daisy me rollin:** I have no clue

[12:47] **xxAngelofDarkness:** What

[12:47] **Gotta go fast:** You guys really just torturing a poor angel here huh

[12:48] **Ryan Reynolds:** Heya Sonic!!

[12.48] **Gotta go fast:** Hey my dude, wanna hang out?

[12.49] **Ryan Reynolds:** Heck yeah, Ill be right over

[12.49] **Gotta go fast:** Prepare to be destroyed in Mario Kart

[12.50] **Ryan Reynolds:** And you in return in Smash 64

[12.50] **Gotta go fast:** As long as Pikachu is banned

[12.50] **Ryan Reynolds:** Deal.

[12.51] **Pichuwu:** can i tag along pleeeaaaase?

[12.51] **Gotta go fast:** Of course!

[12.51] **Ryan Reynolds:** No.

[12.51] **Gotta go fast:** >>

[12.52] **Ryan Reynolds:** Im jussss joking, don’t worry

[12.52] **Ryan Reynolds:** and bring mewtwo. Something tells me he’s been stuck in his room brooding for too long again.

[12.53] **Mew2:** I am not brooding.

[12.53] **Ryan Reynolds:** Watching anime then

[12.53] **Gotta go fast:** Talking to hot russian singles in your area

[12.53] **Mew2:** If those are my choices, then I was brooding.

[12.54] **Pichuwu:** Mewtwo will drive us to the convenience store first, want anything?

[12.54] **Mew2:** I love how you take my driving for granted.

[12.55] **Pichuwu:** Because you care enough about me to not have me walk there

[12.55] **Ryan Reynolds:** Also I’d kick your ass

[12.55] **Mew2:** Sigh, meet me in the car in 10 minutes.

[12.56] **Pichuwu:** Heck yeah dude!!

[12.58] **Bible Bitch:** Can someone please question how the cat alien can drive?

[12.58] **RGB:** HM move

[12.58] **Mew2:** You wish. Then maybe you could shove it up your own ass and learn it yourself for once.

[12.59] **Daisy me rollin’:** Wig!!1

[13.00] **Princess:** Hiya Richter!

[13.00] **Sheik this out:** I am more concerned with how one sits in a car with such a massive tail.

[13.01] **Bible Bitch:** Hey Zelda, how do you fare?

[13.01] **Bible Bitch:** Also great question who I assume to be Sheik

[13.01] **Sheik this out:** For once an assumption made about me was correct.

[13.02] **Mew2:** Custom seats.

[13.02] **Bible Bitch:** Wait how rich are you

[13.02] **Indiana Belmont:** It's not polite to inquire about someone's wealth, Richter.

[13.03] **Bible Bitch:** Oh right, sorry.

[13.03] **Mew2:** I couldn't care less, no worries.

[13.03] **Pichuwu:** Cmon!! You're gonna be late!

[13.03] **Mew2:** Oh right.

[13.05] **Indiana Belmont:** Also Richter would you consider changing your name?

[13.05] **Bible Bitch:** Hmm, ask me again tomorrow and I'll have an answer for you.

[13.06] **Indiana Belmont:** All right.

 

\---

 

[13.40] **Booty Hunter:** Zero Suit is me, but straighter…..

[13.40] **Booty Hunter:** I just think it was important that you knew.

[13.42] **Free Range Samus:** And you’re me, but you decided to wear your closet

[13.43] **Booty Hunter:** eXCUSE YOU

[13.43] **Free Range Samus:** Ya suit bulky as shit and you know it

[13.44] **Booty Hunter:** So what is it called if you murder yourself

[13.44] **Phazone:** Self care

[13.44] **Mayor pain in the a:** Internal argument gone heated

[13.44] **Yong Lonk:** Metaphor for overcoming your dark side.

[13.45] **Marth?:** Suicide??

[13.45] **R.O.B.ert:** Clone wars

[13.45] **Space Aesthetic:** Spanish soap opera

[13.46] **Flutter Jump:** So like, whoever said self care: You ok?

[13.46] **Phazone:** It’s about self reflection and becoming a stronger person

[13.47] **Phazone:** also somtimes you’re just annoying as shit.

[13.47] **Booty Hunter:** Thanks

[13.47] **Phazone:** You’re welcome

 

\---

 

[14.32] **Daisy me rollin:** YOU'LL NEVER SEE IT

 

 _[Daisy me rollin added_ _the.phantom.]_

 

[14.32] **Daisy me rollin:** COOOOOOMING

[14.33] **Jared, 19:** I think the readers saw this coming actually!

[14.33] **Luc Ass:** Hi

[14.34] **Luc Ass:** Can you explain what you mean by that?

[14.34] **Luc Ass:** Please

[14.34] **Baeonetta:** Ah, there we go, the family is reunited again

[14.35] **Joker:** Hi mom

[14.35] **Junior:** What he gets to call you mom??

[14.36] **Baeonetta:** He fits the aesthetic, dear, a vital part of the family.

[14.36] **Baeonetta:** Which is why Kirby is also part of the family.

[14.37] **Princess:** k kirby??

[14.37] **Babey:** Poyo! (♡˙︶˙♡)

[14.38] **Babey:** [img_2056.png]

[14.39] **Baeonetta:** See? The aesthetic.

[14.39] **Princess:** Understandable, have a day.

[14.40] **Joker:** It's great to be here.

[14.40] **Roys r us:** Hey Joker!!!!

[14.41] **Joker:** Hello Roy!!!

[14.41] **Roys r us:** Welcome to Zelda's most questionable idea yet!

[14.41] **Princess:** Hey!!

[14.41] **Roys r us:** uwu

[14.42] **Joker:** uwu

[14.42] **Roys r us:** !!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn't expect that cheeky art by yours truly did you? ;0
> 
> Dummy Thicc = Snake  
> Luc Ass = Lucas  
> Earthbound = Ness  
> Courage the cowardly Hylian = Link  
> Yong Lonk = Young Link  
> toony = Toon Link  
> Princess = Zelda  
> Ryan Reynolds = Pikachu  
> Lucario = Lucario  
> RGB = Red (Pokémon)  
> Just Peachy = Princess Peach  
> Gotta go fast = Sonic  
> Not Icarus/Jared, 15 = Pit  
> Goddess = Palutena  
> xxAngelofDarkness = Dark Pit  
> Daisy me rollin = Daisy  
> Pichuwu = Pichu  
> Mew2 = Mewtwo  
> Bible Bitch = Richter Belmont  
> Sheik this out = Sheik  
> Indiana Belmont = Simon Belmont  
> Booty Hunter = Samus  
> Free Range Samus = Zero Suit Samus  
> Phazone = Dark Samus  
> Mayor pain in the a = Villager  
> Marth? = Lucina  
> R.O.B.ert = R.O.B.  
> Space Aesthetic = Princess Rosalina  
> Flutter Jump = Yoshi  
> Baeonetta = Bayonetta  
> Joker = Joker  
> Junior = Bowser Jr.  
> Babey = Kirby  
> Roys r us = Roy
> 
> (Oh boy I realize I used a lot of characters this chapter, sorry!)


End file.
